Trying not to get too excited...

I jumped on the scale this morning and it was 5lbs lighter than just 3 days ago. It is hard not to get excited to see the scale go down, but when it's coupled with clothes fitting looser I tend to want to do a happy dance.

My glucose is still too high in the morning, but it's lower by more than 100pts from what it used to be during my three weeks of glutenating. Today it was 184. Apparently there is a reason I'm high in the morning. During the night my liver thinks I'm fasting (which really, I am since I try not to eat anything at all after 8pm, and typically get up at 6 or 7am) so it releases stored glycogen. I'm insulin resistant still, so all that sugar basically floats around, and my numbers get high. This is pretty common even in people without diabetes, but their insulin works right so they never notice the flux.

With the way I'm eating ( my only carbs coming from fiber packed veggies) and my weight lifting and HIIT training, my insulin resistance should eventually stop. I have to lose enough stored fat to get things working more normal though.

 When I was on metformin after first getting diagnosed with type 2 in 2007, my blood sugar was still higher than it is now. That was because I listened to my doctor and the diabetes video they gave me. Most doctors promote, sadly enough, a diet high in carbohydrates for a diabetic! Whole grains get broken down into glucose. Hello? Too much glucose bad for type 2 diabetics mmmkay.

When out of desperation (and lack of health insurance to get meds) I went to a more Primal way of eating, and I saw an instant improvement in how I felt, started losing weight, not to mention my numbers were getting lower. I was drinking real raw milk with most of the cream still in it (I was skimming the rest off to make butter), eating cheese, avocado, and other foods high in good fats. With fresh veggies from my own garden, and getting more from my parent's mini farm, I was eating pretty well. It just wasn't the standard diabetic diet, which obviously wasn't working for someone like me with insulin resistance.

I started really dropping weight during the time I was going hardcore on the primal. Then I hit a plateau, and I know now that it was probably because I had slacked off at the gym, and was eating too large of portions. Most people who are on the primal/paleo eating plan are already fairly in shape, so they have to eat more because they are working out hard, and have a lot more lean body mass to keep powered. For me that isn't the case. I have lots of stored energy in the form of fat, and I need to get my body into fat burning mode. When I ate too much my body wasn't turning to my stored fat to get energy, it was just using all that food I ate.

Now that I know this plateaus should be a little easier to overcome this time around: step up workouts, look at portions, and see where things need to be tweaked. At least that is going to be my strategy, or "strateej-ery" as Scooter from Borderlands would say.  I'm pumped right now with the readings on my scale, and I'm going to keep positive that it will keep happening. The only other alternative if I can't drop the weight is gastric bypass. Frankly that doesn't sound like a fun option.

Leptin is a fat chick's best friend, and potential worst enemy...

Sometimes after eating, especially during my week of glutenating, I always felt hungry. I'd eat and still feel unsatisfied afterward, or I'd eat until totally stuffed, and an hour later be craving food again. I'd drink a big glass of water or unsweetened ice tea, and still feel the munchies. It is torture to be in that constant state of feeling hungry!

Over the last two days I've noticed I'm not ravenously hungry anymore. Last night I made burgers without the bun with the yummy grass feed lean beef I bought. Basically it's a burger patty with a slice of Tillamook cheese on a bed of lettuce with pickles and onions. I basically ate half of it and was totally stuffed beyond belief. I was sorta shocked. Usually I can eat the whole thing and be hungry an hour later. Then this morning I made scrambled eggs with peppers and onions, and some bacon. I ate half that, and a cup of cocoa chai tea, and I was stuffed again. Leptin really is awesome if you're eating right and exercising, but if you're fat, not exercising, and eating crap, it is your worst enemy.

Apparently when you're leptin resistant you don't get that feeling of satiety that you do when you're not. Leptin tells your brain "Hey! I'm full! Stop eating!"  When your body doesn't acknowledge leptin you pretty much feel hungry all the time. Thankfully, my exercising and eating no grains or carbs (unless it's from fiber packed veggies) has really paid off. I'm really full on half of what I'd usually eat, and I probably won't be hungry for a few hours. YAY!

Yesterday I did 10 minutes of H.I.I.T then burn downs on the leg press. My legs felt like noodles afterward, but they aren't sore today. Another YAY! My shoulders however are another story. I ended up doing 90lbs on the machine that works your lats and arm muscles, and I'm pretty stiff today. A back rub sounds completely awesome, but alas... I don't have a massage monkey to really dig in. If I keep this up I'm going to be more buff in a few months. Hopefully the fat will have melted off a bit more so you can actually tell though! 

Doc Visit & Test Results= The Fear...

So I went to the doctor on Monday and got a whole slew of tests done. The usual multiple vials of blood were drawn, and I had the oh so wonderful experience of peeing in a tiny cup. Yay fun!

Today I finally got the results back. I guess they could be worse. My doc wants to get me on a cholesterol drug (my results were 310), but my stance on that is a very strong "HELL NO!" My liver is still not doing the best, but I remember my last numbers, and it's better than a couple years ago. What is scaring me the most is the slightly lower than preferred numbers on my kidney functions.

Having diabetes sucks major donkey balls. If I knew back when I was 20, what I know now at 34, I probably could have avoided all the health issues I have right now. Luckily I have informed myself, and am taking firm grip on my health.

The two major things that I've really been trying hard to do more of is high intensity interval training, and weight lifting. I hate cardio, and always have. HIIT training for me is the less painful way of getting in cardio. I bust my ass doing it and get my heart rate up, then hit the weights. This works for me. As I get in better shape I'll add more time and go longer, but for now I'm doing 12 minutes. Each week I'll add a couple more minutes.

So far this week I have had 0, yes ZERO sugar of any kind. I've had zero grains as well. I managed to not cave and have ice cream, or the last homemade cinnamon roll. The only carbs I've consumed have been in the form of vegetables. Fruit is off the table since fructose, even in fruit with all the fiber, is bad for my glucose and on my already stressed liver. It has been hard, but the cravings have died down. When I wanted something sweet, I grabbed a glass of iced blueberry Stash tea with lemon and a couple drops of pure stevia extract.

A lot of people I know would be going insane without carbs. I know my fiance would be. He's addicted to sugary drinks and snacks like Flaming Hot Cheetos. I worry every time I see him eating this stuff, but I know that if he wants to get healthier, he has to make the change. Nagging at him won't do any good. He knows the shit is bad for him. Sure he gets side benefits because I cook healthy meals, but until he cuts out the soda, chips, and other junk food, it won't make too much of a difference. And the stuff that I'm not supposed to eat will still be in the house, taunting me.

So what am I eating? Well for one, I don't skimp on the healthy fats. Coconut oil is my main fat. I use it to cook with. For breakfast today I had bacon, organic eggs from the store (My parent's chickens haven't been laying as heavy since it's now winter time, so I haven't been able to get as many as I was during the summer and spring) cooked in a little coconut oil, and some sauted spinach. On top of that I took my plethora of vitamines and supplements: Cinnamon (for diabetes), vitamin C, D3, Magnesium, Fish oil, a potent B vitamin mix, and a bunch of other ones that I'm too lazy to list. For lunch I had some homemade chicken and veggie soup, though to be honest I ate mostly the broth and the veggies. That was really all I wanted, and I wasn't really super hungry even at 2pm anyway. It's 6pm now and I'm feeling hungry, but not starving. For dinner I'm making a sort of Chicken Cacciatore...

It's bone-in skinless chicken thighs that I browned in some coconut oil. Once they were brown on both sides I took them out and added 3 cloves garlic, a chopped onion and orange bell pepper, and some sliced green olives. Once the veggies were soft I added about 1/4 cup Merlot and a jar of the Marzano tomatoes I canned up in September. The sauce is seasoned with marjoram, oregano, sage, parsley, and a pinch of red pepper flakes. Simmer this with a lid on the skillet for about an hour and you get a tender, flavorful chicken dish that is great on a cold night. Most people would serve this with rice, but I usually would do cooked millet. However since I really need to not eat carbs right now, I'm just having some of my leftover Butternut Squash Risotto. When you're eating real food like this, full of good flavors from the herbs and home grown tomatoes, it is easier to curb the cravings for crap food. I'm not sure I'll ever get over my monthly craving for Taco Hell nachos, but I'm pretty determined not to give in to the cravings for crap foods that are basically poison in a tasty form. If I make nachos at home I can use real food, and my body will thank me for it.

Maybe I'm just smoking crack...

... but the last few days my knee has not popped, creaked, and groaned when I got out of bed. My shoulder joint, the one that pops out of socket easily if I move just right, or someone pulls on it a certain way (think giving me a hand up etc), has felt better than when I was lifting weights to strengthen the muscles. I'm not doing anything different right now except drinking homemade broth like it's tea. In fact I'm having a cup of hot beef bone broth right now, because I woke up cold, and feeling congested as hell. It's like a savory soup without the chunks in it.

My knee has crackled and popped, and so have both my ankles, for years now. I chalked it up to "getting old," but I'm only 34 (as of tomorrow). That's not old. So other than my being fat, I figured it was just the start of that slow decline. Well I have a feeling that won't be the case.

One of the things I do to keep motivated to eat healthy is read other people's blogs and websites about their healthy eating etc. One of my favs lately has been Food Renegade. The author is all about eating real food, not processed crap, and eating more primal. What does that mean? Well for one thing it means eating meats from happy grass fed animals, veggies, raw dairy, and some sprouted foods (it's healthier if it's sprouted first so we humans can actually get the nutrients). One of the things I read from her blog was all about bone broth recently. I've heard of it before, and I have always made homemade stock, but I've never had it on a daily basis. I use it in soups, to cook my risotto, or millet, and to make things like chili and stew.  Reading the Food Renegade site lead me to a new book.

I've just finished reading Deep Nutrition by Dr. Catherine Shanahan, and it was very interesting. She goes into the ways good nutrition benefits our bodies, as well as just how nasty sugar and vegetable oils are for us. This book really packed in the info, and I loved it. The writing style is easy to read and really absorb, even when it goes into the science behind it all. One thing Dr. Shanahan promotes is eating the foods our great-great-grandparents ate regularly: meat off the bone, bone stocks, veggies, and raw dairy. Why? Because they have the real nutrients our bodies need to make everything work right.

I've read about this before in other books, from other websites promoting eating this way, and I started changing over a year ago. But until now I was not as motivated. I missed bread, and sweet treats. It was hard to avoid eating stuff that was crappy for my body when everyone around me was eating it. I watch my fiance eat candy, chips, and sandwiches (he does try to hide the fact so he's not blatantly eating it in front of me, but he's in the house, and I see the leavings. Think things like Subway sandwich wrappers and Taco Bell bags) and I would be tempted to eat shit like that. However, when I stuck to my guns, and went to the gym to lift weights, I started to slim down. It was slow still, but it was happening, and I was excited. Then I hit a plateau, got depressed, and figured it was just another failure on my part. So I started eating bread again. While not eating bread and wheat products, my mood is elevated, I don't get strong feelings of anxiety (especially around people), and my mind is clear and more focused. When I'm on wheat, I get depressed, fatigued, anxious, and just feel down right gross.

These last three weeks I've had to deliberately eat gluten so I can get tested for a gluten allergy or Celiac. After the first week I was sorta ok. The fatigue set in almost immediately, and right away my sleep was screwed up. I'd fall asleep, but I couldn't stay asleep, or I'd sleep but I'd still wake feeling like I hadn't slept a wink. Sure it was nice eating a real grilled tuna sandwich on wheat bread, or the homemade pizza, and I made homemade french bread to go with some soup one night. I bought a box of Cheeze-its (I've loved them since I was a kid), and thought things were ok. After that first week though I noticed I was craving the foods I was eating before. It wasn't that I wasn't allowing myself to eat them, it was just that I had to remember to eat foods normally off limits, and that would take the place of some of my regular foods. I wanted red meat, roasted broccoli, eggs (the eggs from my parent's chickens, not store bought eggs), brussels sprouts with bacon, onion, and lots of garlic, and soups with my homemade stock. Sure that homemade pizza was delicious, but it didn't satisfy me. I'd be hungry again an hour later.

The first week of my winter break from school, I finally had the time to get the ox tail out of the freezer from the half steer I bought from my parent's neighbor. The butcher guy that comes out in his nifty truck to slaughter and process the steers gave me the ox tail, heart, and tongue right away. The rest of the side of beef had to hang for a week or two to age the meat. So while I was still waiting for my beef to be cut and wrapped, I had this lovely ox tail to make stock. The only problem is that it takes 24 hours to simmer if you want all the great benefits of bone broth. While worrying about finals and writing final papers, I didn't have the time. Now I wish I had made the time, because this stuff seriously perked me up.

I simmered the meaty ox tail for a full day last week. Usually people braise ox tail and eat the really tasty meat on it, but after 24 hours the meat was pretty much stringy and flavorless. All that flavor had gone into the broth. The dog appreciated the meat chunks in his kibble though, so it didn't go to waste. I had some broth in a mug, canned up the majority, and had a half gallon mason jar in the fridge to use for cooking and such. Most of that jar went into a homemade chili the day I finally got my cuts of grass fed beef. For 3 days in a row I had grass fed beef in chili, bone broth. On Thursday for breakfast, instead of my usual eggs and spinach, I had a beef patty and some sauted cabbage. I swear to gawd that burger was the best thing ever. It was like my body finally got what it wanted. What fat was ground in with the meat (it's 90% lean) was trapped inside, making it juicy. It was seriously like eating a really tender steak. I didn't eat gluten until later that day, and for dinner I had braised pork, and a fake risotto made with cauliflower and butternut squash (no rice). I felt good. I felt more energized than I had in weeks. Eating nutrient dense foods really makes you feel better. Granted I wasn't 100% since I did eat gluten that evening, but for awhile before that I felt more like my normal self. Also my blood sugar was below 200 for the first time since I started glutenating. And that was without taking glipizide before the meal.

It's now been 4 days that I've had both beef and chicken bone broth at least once or twice a day. I've had it like tea when I felt the munchies instead of eating a snack. My sleep is still wacky (I went to sleep at 1:30am and woke up at 7am today), but I woke up without the usual creaking joints. Literally my knees and ankles pop and crackle and thunk every time I get out of bed and start walking around. I didn't suddenly get younger. The only explanation I have is the bone broth. It's full of collagen, vitamins and minerals, and glucosamine among other things. The book Deep Nutrition talked about how eating meat on the bone, and bone broths especially, would help turn your body on to repairing things like your joints, but honestly I didn't think it would make a difference with me being over weight. Obviously that isn't the case, so it gives me hope that if I keep eating this way, and exercising of course, my body will truly slim down and become healthier. I had been contemplating gastric bypass, but I'd rather not go to that extreme to slim down. Now that I have the tools that work (and if I keep motivated!), I can remember to just push past the plateaus. Obviously eating this way isn't like a fad diet. I'm getting real nutrition, and I don't have to starve myself, or feel guilty eating a steak, or heaven forbid, cheese. Not having to be obsessed with how many calories I've had, or how many I've burned off lets me focus my energy on just being happy and doing the things I want to do. If I keep eating healthy real food, my body will repair itself by turning the fat into muscle and other more useful tissues. It won't be such a chore or feel like such a hopeless battle. That I think is what is so frustrating about "dieting"... Everybody tells you how hard it is to lose weight. I don't think it has to be hard. It will take time, yes, for my body to repair, but it won't be hard. The hard part will be making sure I don't give in to temptation and eat any processed junk. My body will do what it needs to as long as I feed it well. That is what I'm going to keep in my mind anyway. I really want to lose the weight, be healthy, and feel good without feeling like a failure, or thinking gastric bypass is my only out.

Am I a horrible blogger or what?

I can't seem to remember to keep posting in my blog. I am a bad, bad blogger. :)

So since it's been about a decade since I posted I might as well catch up a bit.

Stopped eating grains and felt good.
Started eating grains again and felt crappy.
Considered the idea that I may have Celiac or at least a gluten allergy.
Did some experimenting and got sick every time I ate wheat products or anything with gluten.

FINALLY made a doc appointment coming up on the 17th to get tested, and in the mean time have been glutenating myself for the past 3 weeks and hating life. My body has been screaming for me to go back to my healthy primal way of eating, but if I want the test to make a difference, I have to eat bread.

On a good note, I did cheat on the glutenating and went primal for a day this week. Got to have a grilled, grass fed beef patty. The half steer I ordered was finally done and the meat packed in my freezer on Wednesday. I made bone broth with the ox tail (it has to simmer for 24 hours!), and tried a tasty new recipe for cauliflower and butternut squash risotto. I didn't touch grains or carbs till later in the day. When I got the real food in me, I swear my body perked up. Instead of feeling fatigued I had energy. It was awesome. I can't wait till the testing is over and I can go back to my healthy meals.

So for now I'm going to have some bone broth every day (it's good tasting and good for you!), and try to eat good veggies, meats, and lots of water and tea. Hopefully that will help counter the other ickiness that is going on, but I doubt it. Once I'm over this hump, I think it will be easier to stay on track and start losing weight again. Even if I don't have a gluten allergy, or Celiac I am still going to avoid bread and grains in general. Though I do like millet, and will occasionally have polenta made with the organic, stone ground, gluten free cornmeal I bought. But that will have to wait till I get my body back into "regenerating health" mode.

So I finally broke down and made one of the "basic bread" recipes from the book Grain-Free Gourmet, and I have to say it isn't bad. It doesn't have that bread texture, that chewy goodness that breads made with wheat flour give you, but it is passable. It's almost like cornbread, but a little denser. I've been craving a grilled cheese sandwich, so maybe this will do the trick tomorrow. But for now it was delicious on it's own with a little butter.

Can't beat my meat... loaf!

So far I've had good luck with my grain free recipes. Grain free meatloaf was delicious! Only problem is that it doesn't have that texture I'm used to. My mom always made hers with oatmeal, and it added a texture that is appealing. The grain free version was way more tender, and fell apart easier, but the flavor was great. Plus it was very moist. Dry meatloaf is nasty.

My onion crackers turned out good. They don't have that cracker texture, but they are crunchy, and still make a good vehicle for cheese consumption. I had a couple with some cream cheese spread on them as a snack last night, and must say, what they lack in texture they make up for in how filling they are. The recipe said to bake them for 2 hours in the oven, but I found it was easier, and way less hassle, to use my food dehydrator. They were already baked anyway (you bake the mixture in a loaf pan then let it cool completely before slicing into cracker shapes), so you mainly just need them to be hard and dry. The ones done in the dehydrator turned out way better.

Being a diabetic who's had constant blood sugar spikes and difficulty getting it down, I'm happy to say that eating this way has really helped solve that problem. It isn't within what doctors would call "normal" range, but it's very, very close. I'm below 200 a lot of the time 2 hours after meals. My blood sugar was never that good, even on medication!  Plus I don't have the nasty side effects I suffered through while on medication.

Even though I really would love a meatloaf sandwich made with Dave's Killer Rockin' Rye bread, (and I may cheat once this week and have it) the cravings are mostly gone. It is easier to say "no" to shit I shouldn't eat, and I noticed I'm feeling satisfied way sooner. All good things! Going grain free is continuing to be a good choice for me.